|
more_than_a_conqueror_8
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Kyle
Birthday: 10/9/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: I enjoy music, sports, friends, climbing tall things, being active, movies, and just hanging out.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
AIM:  MADDHOPS04
Member Since:
4/25/2005
|
|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| I think we have it all completely backwards. Life that is. Actually, more importantly, we have love backwards. Tonight I hung out with my girlfriend and a few friends. I realized after some time that something was wrong with my girlfriend. I asked her what was wrong, but she just held back and said "nothing." Isn't that always the first answer? Anyways, we continued the night and I asked her a few more times but received the same response. Later tonight we talked one on one and she explained to me that I didn't pay much attention to her. Right away I jumped to an automatic response. What did I do? How can I fix it so it won't occur again? What do you want me to do instead? Upon much thought, I think I've concluded that this is selfish. I've only thought about myself in this situation. I didn't really care about how it hurt her; I may have asked some questions that led to me seeing how I've neglected her, but I didn't really care. I wanted a remedy. I don't want to be in the doghouse again, or to hurt her again. However, the fact is, we haven't fixed anything. Let's say I figure out what I can do next time and we temporarily feel better. But the next time we get in a group situation, she has insecurities. She wonders if I might make her feel that way again, she might even expect me to. So she looks for it. She sits and waits and focuses on the insecurity over everything else. This is because we didn't heal the wound. I think I should have realized that I had hurt her; and ultimately, realized what hurts her hurts me as well, and that should have been communicated to her. I should have asked her how she felt. She needed to know that her feelings were important to me; not solely my actions. She needed to know that her hurt was much more important than any allibi I could have, or any way I could attempt to remedy the situation for next time. I was looking for a quick fix, not healing. Her healing wasn't my priority. Rather, my priority was how can I get in a sitaution where I don't hurt her next time. It may be good motives, but she had already been hurt; I had already caused it. Healing needed to occur, not attempted future avoidance of similar sitautions. Often we focus on ourselves, what we can do to fix the situation, instead of focusing on the person that was actually hurt. Because, frankly, I could have done the exact same actions a different night and she might not have been bothered at all. It all depended on the mood and the atmosphere and so on. The only thingt that truly needed to be communicated was that she was hurt and that was all that mattered. We need to love past ourselves. | | |
| The summer seems to be wrapping up quickly and I'm starting to look back to see where it has gone, even though the first few weeks was filled with nothing but boredom. We (my band say-so and the band brideandgroom) had an amazing time on tour. We drove somewhere close to 3500 miles and pulled a few all-nighters. We started out with a show a little north of Auburn. We spent the night at my parents house that night and then we took of Chicago the next day. We played outside of Chicago that night and got to spend the night with one of my friends. We had the next day off so we took the train into the city and walked around all day. Unfortunately, it was a sunday and everything was closed. We decided to leave that evening to avoid Chicago traffic and drive all through the night to Nashville. We stayed with the man who produced our album and Nashville and got to hang out at the recording studio he worked at. We even got to lay down some music. It's the same recording studio that Tobymac and Sanctus Real and some other big names go to. Anyway, we were supposed to have a show in Alabama the next day, but it got cancelled. The following day, we had a show in Houma, Louisiana. This, by far, was the best evening we had. We drove the Texas the next morning and played at spots near Houston, Dallas, San Antonio, and Corpus Christi. From Corpus Christi (which is amazing) we drove all through the night to Muskogee, Oklahoma. We finished up our shows that night and drove all through the night (15 hrs) to go home. It was an amazing trip, and though I was often tired, hungry, and fed up with being in a car, I miss it. After tour I spent a couple of weeks at my old churchcamp. It was a very good and challenging time. Thanks for all of the prayers and support. | | |
| Sadly, this summer could describe me in one word: bored. I am currently unemployed and have been just chilling at the apartment (Mascot and I moved into Tyler's apartment at the beginning of the summer). I've done a bad job of entertaining myself and finding things to do. However, we leave for tour next friday. Our bands plan for tour gave me the incentive to remain lazy and not search for a job. After tour, hopefully this will be a different story. So yeah, tour. We are taking off next friday and the furthest destination is Texas. We have about 15 shows or so in which we'll be heading to Florida, then over to Texas, then back. Not all of the shows have gotten fully booked yet, so hopefully it won't be cut short. It will be quite the journey. If anyone is interested...Say-So now has t-shirts and buttons to go with our cd's. Shameless plug. | | |
| I realize that my past posts have been somewhat rhetorical and difficult to comment on. So I have a question... Does God feel fear? | | |
| I've pretty much come to the conclusion that there are two kinds of people in this world: those who know who they are, and those who know who they want to be. I think for the sake of this illustration, I'm going to use names. Let's say Bob is a man who knows who he is. Bob has a certain confidence about him. Everyone can see it. It doesn't take long at all for people to realize that Bob knows who he is. Now, there is another man, Nick. Nick knows who he wants to be: .....Bob. Because, frankly, all we ever want to be is someone else. So Nick fights, and he mimics, and he tries to emulate Bob. And, hopefully, eventually Nick realizes that he cannot be Bob. Only Bob is Bob. Sadly, the only person Nick can become is just like any other person in the world who just wants to be another Bob. | | |
|
